A Valentine’s Day Gift and Toast, from me to you!

Chapter 1 of Dr. Loving’s Financial Workbook for Couples, for Free.99!


Dr. Loving’s Personal Finance Workbook for Couples.

Ajamu C. Loving, PhD

“People are more important than things.” Rev. Dr. Eddie L. Knox, Jr.

It starts with prayer (Chapter 1)

There are a few constants that come to mind when I think of my upbringing and one of them is prayer. As a family we prayed constantly. My step-dad is a Presbyterian minister who believes in the power of prayer and praying unapologetically, without ceasing. “Let’s have a word of prayer”, was a phrase spoken so often that I still chuckle a bit when I say it myself.

When we talk about finances with one another, we start to uncover old attitudes and confront beliefs and past activities that can elicit a lot of emotion. Sometimes this emotion can carry over into heated conversations, debates, and arguments. Prayer changes things, and most importantly, changes you. Praying alone and then again with your significant other as you tackle these workbook subjects will help to set the stage for you both. It will help you to use these discussions to help build your financial future together because you are looking past these physical material decisions and framing your relationship with one another in the eternal context.

Pray for God to grant you a spirit of love and a heart centered desire to share. A marriage is the ultimate test of maturity, and sharing is an activity that is quite difficult for many. Your love and commitment to your spouse is something that will be evidenced by your willingness to share with them. Lip service is easy but sharing “stuff” can be difficult. Praying for God to shape your thoughts and actions in this area will help you get past your own selfishness and think of your union.

Pray for your spouse, and not just to get them to act how you think they “oughtta act”. It’s easy to get into a habit of asking God to step into the heart and mind of someone else and fix what’s wrong with them. This of course assumes that you are the source of all judgement about their thoughts and actions.  Pray for your spouse’s relationship with God. Pray that they listen to what God wants in their life. Pray for them to have the strength and commitment to execute in the ways that God has planned for them.

Pray for this union. In a marriage, two become one unit, and it is important to pray for that unit. It is helpful for each spouse in a couple to grow accustomed to praying for the strength and vitality of the union itself. This allows you both to see the marriage as something bigger than either one of you. You both commit to this union, you are a part of a team with goals and purpose, and you are both empowered through prayer to work together to fulfill that purpose.

Take this time to write out a schedule, yes a schedule, to pray.

Prayer Schedule

When will I pray for myself and my attitudes about sharing and money?

______________        _______________ ________________________

Day(s) of the week Time of the Day Subject of Prayer

When will I pray for my spouse?

______________        _______________ ________________________

Day(s) of the week Time of the Day Subject of Prayer

When will I pray for the marriage?

______________        _______________ ________________________

Day(s) of the week Time of the Day Subject of Prayer

When will we pray together, as a couple?

______________        _______________ ________________________
Day(s) of the week Time of the Day Subject of Prayer

4 thoughts on “A Valentine’s Day Gift and Toast, from me to you!”

  1. My wife and I did the Marie Kondo ‘Tidy Up’ recently. One of the things I augmented to her plan was to include a prayer ALMOST IDENTICAL to the format you had in this article. When putting things like this into place, remembering “you are NOT my enemy” is really important. A little prayer before you begin can set the stage for success!

  2. awesome! although i am preparing for the man God has for
    me, I pray for him even while I wait for him.

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